What is Train Books?

Excellent question, title I just wrote. Train Books is, quite simply, a project combining two of my greatest passions: reading books and meeting cute girls.

Actually, when I say passion, that may be something of an overstatement. This project really combines two things that I wish were passions of mine. I wish I read more often, and I wish I met cute girls but instead I end up getting bored and nervous, respectively. The one applicable passion I actually do have, though, is riding the train.

I come from a college town in Indiana whose only public transportation is buses. I fucking hate buses. We'll get into that later. But the train, I love. Red line, brown line, yellow line, I've ridden them all (except for the pink line, because come on). There's something I love about the rhythm, the regularity, the fact that any given train car presents you with a sort of cross-section of humanity. You can find a loving couple, a cluster of harried professionals just trying to get to work, a crazy old man, a crazy young man, and maybe - and by maybe I mean always - a bunch of really cute girls I'm too shy to talk to.

Which brings me to my mission. I'm trying to find the perfect book that, when read on a train, makes me irresistible to any given woman, so she'll have no choice but to come up to me, introduce herself, start up conversation, fall in love, take me back to her place, and [my parents are going to read this] hug all night long.

There are a lot of factors to consider, and there's already been a cheeky article or two written on the subject, but my study will be far more extensive, empirical, and... let's say... effervescent.